Correction and plea for forgiveness

Unbelieveable! In my "comprehensive" list of hot female sports figures, I grossly omitted the most obviously sexy ones: The Cheerleaders!

One might argue that they are not athletes and therefore do not deserve a place in the hierarchy of hot athletes...however, they are as integral to the fan experience as $8 beer, peanut shells and urinal lines. Therefore, I'd like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to those vivacious vixens of the sideline who keep guys in their seats just a little longer than is necessary to avoid any embarrassing stand up and poke out moments.

Please forgive me.
What a jerk!

Tennis anyone?

Tennis is a great game. I played today for the first time in some 6 or 7 years, and it was great to get out there and hit the ball again, get some running in, etc... But what makes the game so truly great is the miniskirts that female tennis players wear. You didn't think I've abandoned my quagmire-esque overtones, did you?

Yeah, tennis miniskirts are hot, but I find female golfers really hot as well. And i'm not talking about the softballers in golf uniforms. I'm talking about the toned, tan, uber-sexy queens of the links. Here's a ranking of my favorite female athlete types by sport.
*note: this is not a comprehensive ranking because I reserve the right to add/subtract/change order/etc...

1. Golf (do wonders with balls)
1a. Tennis (deftly handles balls as well)
2. Volleyball (tall women, long legs, small bikinis, giggity goo)
3. Soccer (mia hamm inspired this, heather mitts continues it, these girls are just icing on the cake)
4. Figure skaters like Tanith Belbin
5. Basketball
1002. Softball (jenny finch not withstanding)

Hot athletes remind me that there's more to life than money, kind of like when it's peanut butter jelly time

Also, i am putting together a distribution list to notify readers of new posts. If you so dare, feel free to leave me your email address, and you'll be added to the super-duper list of Jerk Supporters. DO IT!

Textbooks

Yesterday i went to the bookstore and purchased three books for the bargain basement price of $494. In no uncertain terms, if the bookstore were a car, I would slash its tires. Yeah, I could have gone on Amazon and probably found the books for cheaper, but I have zero patience. The bookstore advertises great savings on "used" books, but there were no "used" books to be found...it doesn't help that one of my professors wrote his textbook, and amazingly, only new books are offered. Whatever, no further points here, just frustration.

Bad joke of the day as offered by the author of Mental Incontinence.
What do you get when you push a 5-yr old down a staircase? An erection.

The joke? Terrible. Did I laugh when I heard it? Yes. Am I going to hell? Absolutely. Do I agree with the subject matter? No. Why did I retell the joke? I'm THAT guy. Until next time,

Quagmire